Wednesday, June 18, 2008

7 weeks

7 weeks left of my life as I know it.

I like this life. A lot. Being uncomfortably pregnant, I can do without. But, the rest is pretty cool. Love being Ella's mom. Enjoy the time that I get to spend with her. So thankful that I am able to devote my days to listening to her talk, make jokes, be silly and grow. Like that Mike and I get time together to talk/go out/laugh. Love that we all have our little routines.

In a few short weeks....pfffttt....all those routines? Gone.

I guess what I am trying to say is that....I AM SCARED.

Scared of what? Scared of the delivery. (Especially now that I know what I am getting into....it ain't a joke, people.) Scared of the recovery. Scared of the sleepless nights. Well, maybe not scared, so much as...maybe dreading is a better word?

The trip to Babies R Us today to buy nursing pads and another Diaper Champ (along with $200 dollars worth of other essentials) did not help matters much. Ugh. I am back in nursing pads soon? Yes, those same nursing pads that are necessary so I don't look like someone shot me in both boobs with a water gun every few minutes. Wait, I am going to be nursing someone again soon? Whoa. Let's all slow down here...

Hanging out in the delivery room last weekend at Northside was an eye opener, too. All the monitors, the consent forms we had to sign for everything under the sun, the mirror to watch yourself pushing (WOW!) and just the smell of that place freaked me out. I was so ready to get out of there.

It's all just getting so close.

Can you hear my teeth chattering?

I can't wait to meet and fall in love with this little one. I am so thankful we get to have her. I am just scared/dreading the pain/exhaustion/blah/blah/blah of all that is involved with HAVING her. It's understandable, right? Right?

3 comments:

Joe Reger said...

It's all completely understandable. If I ever looked at my Outlook calendar and saw "7 weeks from now: squeeze something this big out of that area down there so that it can stalk your chest for months"... well, let's just say I'd run for the hills, collect a lot of drugs and cry for weeks. You've got the right mindset about the changes ahead. It's definitely more work than expected. You'll be amazed how much stuff you forgot. But you'll be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you remember how to handle it. Seeing your two little ones interacting will make everything worth it. Good luck with it all! We'll be following through the blog!

Those Bad Feet said...

oh my baby girl. I understand all those feelings - hey, I might have felt the same thing 31 years ago when I was sweating thru August 1976 in an un-air conditioned station wagon and lugging you around in utero...
like I said today - once you meet that new miraculous little girl, it will all fall into place. A different place from this one, but a good one.

Alicia Parr said...

Deep breaths...slow...that's right...you are just fine. Don't forget that women's bodies are MADE for childbirth. Made to do Ironman's? Not so much. Big challenges naturally generate self doubt and anxiety, but it will all work-- you'll make it work. Both you and your husband will make things work out and it will be worth it. You've done it once already. You're on the homestretch...keep it up.

As for me-- I need to make sure that nursery gets completed. After I see where I am with baby stuff after this Sunday's baby shower, then we'll be making plenty of expensive trips to Babies R Us too.